Monday 8 August 2011

Humble Bundle Review

The Humble Bundle. I'm sure we have all heard of this by now. Why? Well it is only a cent to buy (Unless you're a idiot and payed more than a Dollar). This Bundle Contains 7 Indie Games for the low low price. But are these Seven games actually worth the price? Let us Find out.


VVVVVV Review

VVVVVV. What a Creative name. I was being sarcastic in my last sentence. This game is terrible and horribly Designed. I was greeted with a Cut scene and i was thrown into a level without any clue in what i have to do. I walked to the left and everything was going great. Until i saw some Spikes. "Right i'll just jump right over them" But get this. You can't jump in this game. Gee that was fun. I think the Story mode was thrown in as a joke to reference something because the first level is impossible. Then i found that the Real levels were in the Level selector. Alright this is where the levels begin i'm sure. But there was only one level. I was annoyed at this but tried it in hopes of it being fun to play. But the level design was... As we can see in the  above picture it looks like everything was just thrown in. This was possibly one of the worst platformers i have ever played and i will just stick to Spiral Knights. I am only giving it a one because the Music was kind of good.

VVVVVV - 1/10

Crayon Physics Deluxe Review


Well. I can't really complain about this one. Just looking at the name i could already tell what it was going to be. It is a game where you draw pictures of things. You can draw whatever you want. Now obviously this game is targeted at the Fan base of Two year olds but i thought i might as well try it. I had great fun colouring in things with the Crayons. I was being sarcastic in that last sentence. This game is terrible but i suppose it is  targeted for a young Fan base so i'm sure that for them it might be fun. But Paint does the job better and has different brushes. Or they could just play with Crayons in real life instead of being Nerds.

Crayon Physics Deluxe - 2/10

Cogs Review

Cogs is a puzzle game. It is a game where you build machines to win the round. This is a really original idea. I was being sarcastic in the last sentence. Building things. Machines. Reminding you of anything? Maybe another game where you build things. If i must spell it out to you this game is a rip off of Minecraft. But apart from the idea being completely stolen from another game, this game was quite enjoyable but next time Cogs Developers, Please be original.

Cogs - 4/10

HammerFight Review

This game is amazing and it worked amazing on my Computer. I was being sarcastic in the last sentence. When i installed this my computer crashed and had trouble turning back on. I think this did something to my battery. Unless you want a Virus don't install this game.

HammerFight - 0/10

And Yet It Moves Review

And Yet it Moves. This was an alright game. But the Artwork was terrible. The Artists were so lazy that instead of making Textures, they just took Photos of things and put the Photos in. For example in the first few levels you are in a Cave. They took pictures of caves and meshed them together for the Artwork. Apart from the Artwork this game is alright. It can be very boring at times although. Also the Sound design...there is no music.

And Yet it Moves - 5/10

Steel Storm: Burning Retribution Review

This game has such a cool title and i was not let down when i played the game. There are gun fights around every corner and Things to blow up. You can upgrade your ship to blow up things faster. This was a very fun game and i had already guessed that it would be fun when i saw a title. To all Indie developers. No one wants to play a game titled 'VVVVVV'. They want to play a game which has a cool name and tells you about the game. Steel Storm told me that there would be metal flying all over the place and bullets. I enjoyed this game and for the Developers who made it. I am expecting a sequel. Thanks for making this.

Steel Storm: Burning Retribution - 9/10

Atom Zombie Smasher Review

Just like Steel Storm this game has an amazing gameplay and i was ready to smash some Zombies. I was being sarcastic in that last sentence. First of all there are no zombies. There are ZED which are little blue dots. Second of all you don't smash any zombies. It is a game where you rescue Civilians. It is overhead too so you don't even see anything but the buildings. This has a extremely misleading title and the gameplay is bland.

Atom Zombie Smasher - 1/10

Humble Bundle 3 - 3/10

I only suggest buying this if you want Steel storm or are bored. All of these games got boring very fast.

Thanks for Reading Guys

19 comments:

  1. Cogs sucks. Why did you give it the "high" rating? ;)

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  2. Because Cogs is exactly like Minecraft and Minecraft is a fun game

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  3. Btw, this was posted on the Distractionware forum, and everyone's laughing their head off about it.

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  4. Well it's a game for little kids. I see why they are laughing.

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  5. Another
    Spectacular
    Review!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  6. With a name like xPr0SlAyEr13373] your obviously open minded and enjoy all genres of game.

    LOL JK go back to CoD kiddie.:)

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  7. Wow this is not even a review why did you bother in doing this thing if you don't even care for indie producers who work like hell financing theire own stuff to make people happy by playing those gabes AND for a low price.
    Paying a penny!! wow just play Cod you newbie big budget fanboy

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  8. Go away you idiot. Go play Half life or something you indie nerd.

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  9. Kids today, they just don't appreciate good games for what they are.

    Unless it has explosions and bullets.

    Then it's like OMGWANTWANTYESHPLZ!!!

    I am baffled.

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  10. Listen nerd quit playing your indie games and play a mans game.

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  11. Listen nerd, stop being a close-minded dick. I couldn't take your review seriously in the slightest.

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  12. AHAHAHAHA! That was hilarious!

    I was being sarcastic in my last sentence.

    First off, your review of VVVVVV was not well researched. The game automatically comes with 8 or so levels already made, and "You are Suck" is not one of them.

    Secondly, the whole POINT of the game is not being able to jump. It forces you to use something called a brain (which you seem to lack) to solve puzzles using the flip mechanic. If you seriously can't get past the first level, well, I'd love to see you do a run-through of the final level. I'm sure it'd be full of fail! ^-^

    Anyway, have fun wallowing behind your TV/Computer screen! I'm off to do something remotely interesting.

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  13. Your VVVVVV has made me laugh the entire time.
    Dude you suck soo hard XD
    How can you not get past the first screen? lol
    it clearly tells you what you have to do--oh wait, you were playing a "You are Suck" level! XD

    LOOOOL

    You are full of fail and these games are Indie, they were not meant to be PERFECT, they were meant to be entertaining on their own genre. If you don't like the puzzle genre, then... don't review them lol

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  14. I was being sarcastic in my last sentence.

    You have unleashed the rage of the might distractioware forums upon you. Here is my review to your review:

    -20/5

    I was being sarcastic in that review.

    -27/5 is more like it.

    Ok, look. INDIE is a key word here. It means that the people who make it is usually LESS than five people. They DONT get millions of dollars to create the game. Usually, it's only one person making the games.

    If your going to bitch about these games, you do that. Maybe your just pissed that you cant get past the first screen, "Welcome Aboard", which has NOT A SINGLE FRIGGIN SPIKE IN IT.

    Some people are bitches, and other people are just bitches. You, my friend, are a bitch.

    Go bitch about something else.

    To quote a previous comment, Have fun wallowing behind your monitor. I'm off to do something useful.

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  15. You think minecraft is stupid.

    Wow.

    I'm done here...

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  16. haha if i had no brain then i would be dead fucking idiot

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  17. Oh, hi there troll.

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  18. I remember this troll review! I still think it's funny.

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